Above all, prayer is communication from the heart. Our heart to His heart. There is no need for posturing or facades, He knows us more profoundly than we can even dream of, and His whole purpose is for us to find complete happiness and fulfillment. This does not come at a small price, we have much to learn and many challenges, some of them difficult, but He is always with us.

Genuine prayer is sincere and transparent. We may not begin that way, but somewhere along the line, by the gentle influence of His grace, we enter into that honest place where everything unmasked, begins flowing from the heart. Prayer can very often be the pain you carry in your heart for a loved one or situation that seems beyond remedy. Nothing is beyond remedy. God is a God of miracles, and if we are willing to look from His perspective,
we will see them.

As we carry our burdens to Him in prayer, our hearts become a precious thurible (incense sensor), the suffering we carry, burning hot coals, our prayers for the good of our brothers and sisters and especially our enemies and those who have wronged us, a sweet smelling sacrifice rising up into the throne of God.

Sometimes God allows those who will do harm, to be a part of our lives, because they are in need of our prayers, and He counts on our cooperation and the purifying power of His grace working through us to pray for our enemies and those who dispitefully use us. In this way we are purified more and more from self love, and the grace of conversion enters into the heart of the one we have prayed for. If it is not received by this soul, God will find another to lavish it on, until it brings forth fruit.

We are not always aware when we are praying, anytime there is suffering in our lives, we may ask ourselves, "Who am I praying for?" The Lord uses this suffering as a lever to release graces for them, whether or not we are mentally aware of it. Below are a few suggestions for growing deeply into an intimate, and transforming relationship with the Lord through prayer. See "His Perspective" for a list of books and links to other sites that will enrich and deepen your prayer life.

Prayer Time
The Most Treasured Time of the Day

We are not only His children, we are His Bride, and how can we please a husband without quality time set apart just for Him. Time for the bonds of love to grow in worship, fellowship, instruction, healing. To this end, we have found a few things to be very helpful. The first and foremost is simply,

Come expecting to pour your heart out to Him and be heard, and to be answered.

In truth, there is nothing more important to Him than this relationship with you. He is not a man that He should be limited by time and space, nor is He a man that He should grow cold, indifferent or weary of you.
Come expecting.


How much time we give to just being with Him will determine a great deal about how deep and strong our relationship will be. If He is highest on our list of priorities, we will find ourselves giving more and more of our time to Him and falling deeper and deeper in love.

It is a proven fact, in the lives of the saints, that devoting the first few hours of the day to the Lord is the most ideal. For some, it is impossible to give Him these first few hours. For others it is a matter of changing the schedule, going to bed at nine to get up at four or five to spend the first two hours of the day with Him. This worked very well when I had four small children. But the most important thing about this time is not when it is, but the quality of the time.

It is very important to give Him the best part of your day, when you are most mentally alert. After a nap with a cup of strong tea or coffee. Telephone off the hook and firm instructions to any potential visitors that you are not available during this time. I find this almost impossible to do with a family unless it is in the wee small hours of the morning.

It is also important to take whole days of retreat time, fasting on bread or a very light meal if need be of; bread, cheese, apples, drinking water, tea or coffee.I very much believe in a mild stimulant before or during prolonged prayer. It helps me to focus intently on Him. I think we can all relate to the time we look forward to going out with a friend and enjoying a good cup of coffee and deep meaningful conversation. We come away refreshed, affirmed and encouraged. How much more, should we prepare for this very special time with our Creator and Lord, the most tender Friend and Companion. For those of us who have been unable to find a spiritual director that really understood us, He is also the Consummate Director. We want to be alert, and able to share the deepest recesses of our hearts with Him. We want to be able to listen very carefully to the movement of His Spirit in our souls, and to pay close attention to our spiritual reading.


We have found that it makes a tremendous difference in our prayer lives when we have one area especially reserved for our time with Him. This area should be quiet and set apart from other activities so there is no chance of interruption. It takes a bit of time to settle ourselves down, and enter into the Spirit. One of the most jarring and disruptive things that can happen is to hear the phone ring or have someone enter the room asking for something. You have to begin from scratch to get back to that very still place. So it is important to set boundaries with those in your environment. One sure sign that this time is very effective, is an unusual amount of interruptions and distractions, when you begin to set this time aside. This is always my cue to persevere, something good is going to happen here.

When there is distracting noise in the environment that cannot be helped, we have found that focusing a small fan on the door or window it is coming from, not only masks the sound but sends it in the opposite direction.

Ventilation is also an important consideration. A lack of oxygen in the air can make you droopy and dull minded. It is important to have fresh air in the room from time to time to replenish it. Temperature will also have a bearing on how well you are able to concentrate. If it is too hot you will feel droopy, too cold you'll be distracted. I know there are some hardy souls who will not be affected by any of this, but I confess, I'm not one of them. It's nice to have a very warm blanket on those cold winter days.


The world knows well how to create an environment in order to further its agenda. Take for instance a fine dining establishment. The setting is quiet, comfortable, well ventilated, carefully lit, well arranged and conducive to relaxation. Appointments are tasteful.

I encourage you to make this place, your little piece of Heaven, intimate and ready for a sweet encounter with Our Lord, and protected from any interruptions.

It is also good to have a place to kneel and/or sit comfortably in front of your private altar. I keep my holy books beside my chair, pens and colored markers, index cards and a place to set my coffee all within arms reach. There is an old silver stump from a tree to the left of my chair where I keep my Rhema card file box so it is always handy. Once I have received a holy reading or two I place the cards around the room or on the altar where I will remember to meditate on them during the day.


All of us will have different tastes in this area. I do keep music nearby for times of worship, when I begin my prayer time, I sometimes use music. My only observation about holy music is that it is important to reserve certain pieces of music for certain times so they do not become ordinary and loose their special quality.

Songs that are used for worship, I never use for background music or when visiting with people. If I am driving alone and want to worship, I put that music on. But if another person is in the car and is talkative I play something else. Certain songs and
albums put us in certain places,
it is important to protect that.

I know there are some of you who will not need these measures, or will want something more austere and sparse. But for others, I hope that sharing these arrangements will inspire you to make this time with Him more special, unique, and protected.

For those who have a hard time with the concept of The Lord as our Spouse, I encourage you to read the Song of Songs, it is an allegory....tenderly expressing
His love for you.

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